Hello beautiful people, happy November! The holidays are getting closer and closer and I can’t help but wonder; do you fully accept yourself for who you are? [Is that so random? Maybe, but first of all, self acceptance is longest battle I’ve fought.]
Even after accepting self, it’s quite easy to drift away from she especially in this day and age where a prettier Instagram post surfaces and intimidates your whole existence, right? It’s somewhat a constant battle bc there is a fine line between inspiration and copy catting which makes crossing over from self acceptance to living the previous Instagram post probably from some girl down under faster.
DISCLAIMER: I don’t have core advice on how to walk the talk of self acceptance as I occasionally still struggle, nonetheless am happy to share with you how I actually got to accept me most of the time and hopefully it will somehow get you to accept, do and better yourself as opposed to “improving” that cool Instagram image on mind.
You may not know this but am a very vulnerable character. I get a lot of compliments along the lines of you pick up so fast, easily adopt to change, I see a lot of me in you, we are the same et cetera. Cool, right? WRONG bc if you watch closely, you will see that am nothing but a weak personality, an egg plant, gone with the wind, sacrifices her whole existence to reflect the image of another human. There was a time when I had no definition of who I was without comparing to the people in my life at the time, this was most evident on my previous blog, kinda all over the place which is exactly why am a loner, not to be mistaken, I love people but maybe too much that I lose myself and a prone to disappointment.
It wasn’t just with the people close to me and neither was it limited to just personality, physical appearance and performance too! My yoga sequence wasn’t right bc it wasn’t the same as Sjana’s, my lips weren’t the right size bc they didn’t make a pout like Aamito’s, my skin color wasn’t acceptable bc it’s not the same as Jasmine Tookes, it’s not a good picture bc I didn’t pose like Kendall Jenner, I was a weapon of self destruction and if society has any role to play in this, am unaware! I take full responsibility on this; I always took admiration and inspiration to a whole new unacceptable level. How I’ve never done surgery and other attempts to change my physical appearance or have any ink on my body is definitely sheer luck and lack of money. [No offense to those who have done any of the above bc unlike you, I wouldn’t have done them for the right reasons, that’s the difference.]
How I snapped out of it, frustration was the first trigger, shortly after I was in a car accident, I was falsely accused by a close friend and part of my obsession and love for people dwindled with her exit from my life to later be replaced with self love. At a time when I felt like the world was closing out on me, I only had me to look into thus self discovery and for that, I shall forever find pleasure in solitude. Eventually I learnt that people are different, [don’t duh me; I’ve been hearing it forever but never understood it.] Each to their own, we are all entitled to our own opinions and beauty comes in many forms not just one.
Looking back, am somewhat grateful for my misfortunes, they’ve led to this moment but given a choice, I would ask the universe to hand me just solitude and skip the dark hours. This is how it works; get inspired, withdraw, keep company with the mind and remind yourself that you’re your own kind of beautiful because its true and for every four steps, pause!
Ps: You cannot pour from an empty cup, so before you go spreading love, start with loving yourself, yes you can!
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Location: Pearl of Africa hotel